The Characteristics of a Godly Wife
by Patricia Phillips, 1/29/2008
He who has found a wife has found a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord
[Proverbs 18:22]
A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband, but she who shames him is as rottenness in his bones
[Proverbs 12:4]
What kind of woman is a virtuous woman?
Virtuous is not something you make yourself out to be. It is what you become as you submit yourself to the will of God. He asks us to believe on the Lord Jesus, come to Him, learn from Him, and follow Him. As you submit to God’s will and become like His Son Jesus, others will know that you are becoming a virtuous woman. This is God’s will for your life.
Only certain people are virtuous. They are known by the estimation of others about them. Something in the person and the way they live day-in and day-out reveals this character of virtue. This person is thought very highly of; she has the necessary qualities from her worth and achievements that cause her to stand above others. She is morally excellent, and trustworthy in every way. You will never find any sense of pride within her heart for she would never think of herself as better than anyone else.
A virtuous woman’s life is evident in her life of love for others. Her whole life is devoted to the Lord (His pleasure and glory), her husband (helping him to accomplish God’s purpose in his life), her children (to teach them to love God), and her neighbor (to help in any way possible for their good). Her character makes a favorable impression on others resulting in those that know her giving her a good report.
Virtue comes from God. It is the result of the work of the Holy Spirit in a person’s life. Without faith there can be no virtue. The evidence that one has faith in the Lord Jesus Christ is seen in a virtuous life. If you believe in Him you will live according to His will. This high standard of life is God’s eternal life; it is the way Jesus lived. Your goal is not to become virtuous. Your goal is to believe in, love, and obey the Lord Jesus Christ. Apart from Him you can do nothing. With the Lord you can be a virtuous woman and wife.
Faith is a firm persuasion and conviction. What God has spoken through the Holy Spirit in His Word is believed. The virtuous woman has been persuaded to believe in and follow Christ and His teachings. She has an internal conviction that God is, He rewards those who diligently seek Him, and that He sent the Lord Jesus Christ to save us from sin. She surrenders her will to His. She gives up all her own resources, sinfulness, and eventually her own self. In the place of these things in her soul, she receives Christ through grace and then the Holy Spirit lives with, guides, and keeps her for all eternity. For by grace are you saved through faith [Ephesians 2:8-9], to turn them from darkness to light, and from the power of Satan to God, that they may receive forgiveness of sins and an inheritance among those who are sanctified by faith in Me [Acts 26:18].
Salvation is the most important possession in a person’s life for it brings man to God. How is it possible for man to have a relationship with God? Knowing that we would fall into sin, this salvation was planned along with the heavens and the earth from the beginning. He knew there could never be that close relationship between Himself and mankind apart from the sacrifice of Christ on the cross for our sins. What Jesus Christ did on the cross of Calvary made the way open for that desired relationship. Christ the Son of God became a man to identify with man, save him, and obtain a spiritual bride, the church, for Himself.
People who believe in the Lord Jesus Christ will become His bride and live with Him forever. This bride will be married to her Christ some day. As the church is to Christ so we wives are to be to our husbands. The closest relationship between any two people is that of a loving husband and wife. Such a marriage pictures that spiritual relationship that God is making possible through Jesus Christ for us. The husband is to cherish his wife in the same way he cherishes his own body. This is what Christ did for us, His church. And greater still, He gave His life for her.
Listen to what Paul said about the content of our salvation, I declare to you the gospel which I preached to you,...by which also you are saved, if you hold fast that word which I preached to you—unless you believed in vain...that Christ died for our sins according to the Scriptures, and that He was buried, and that he rose again the third day according to the Scriptures,… [1 Corinthians 15:1-5]. The Scriptures are what we have. They are ours to read and study. You will find their message to be: Christ is the Savior of the world to all who believe. We need to understand this message, believe it, and receive the Lord Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior. Paul also said with full conviction of heart, I am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is the power of God to salvation for everyone who believes… [Romans 1:16]. Christ is living in all those who have come out of the darkness into His marvelous light.
There are four elements to our salvation. 1. God is holy and will not accept a sin-stained rebel into His righteous kingdom. Men are sinful. The punishment for sin is hell, which is eternal. 2. Christ has provided forgiveness justly by dying for our sins and making the way open to the Father. 3. Sinful men must humbly repent from their sin and receive Christ Jesus as the only payment accepted by the Father for those sins. 4. They then will receive the gift of God which is eternal life through the Lord Jesus Christ.
You must be born again. You were born in the flesh, and you must also be born in the Spirit. Those born by the Spirit of God through faith in Jesus Christ become children of God.
The Helpmeet of a Servant of God
Without Christ you cannot be a virtuous wife. Virtue is from God.
If wives are virtuous they will bring honor and respect to their husbands, not to themselves. Those things which are needed in her life to accomplish these are:
1. Knowledge of the Lord and His ways—By knowing Him personally we will receive His divine power that brings to us everything needed for life and godliness. The two ways to know the Lord are through His word and His Holy Spirit. Yes, in Christ we also can become partakers of the divine nature. We are to walk in the light as He is in the light. Jesus Christ is our goal, He is our example. We are not to live for ourselves but for the Lord. Christ lived by prayer and submission to His Father’s will. We must do this as well. He did nothing on His own initiative. Neither should we. To understand these things and walk in them is the first step to being a virtuous wife.
2. Self-control—The power that produces life, a godly character, and restraint from evil is from the Holy Spirit. God admonishes wives to continue in faith, love, and holiness, with self-restraint [1 Timothy 2:15]. Everything we women do must be done with self-control. This is very important for us to understand and practice.
3. Perseverance—Attend to the work you are doing. Do not give up. Attend to every detail and do a good job. When your work is done, and it is a good job, then you have finished your project. Work each day and rest each night. Soon you will have what you have worked so hard for. Remember that God rested from His work on the seventh day of creation when His work was finished. Keep working diligently until the work is done.
4. Godliness—Always look to the Lord. Keep your eyes on Jesus the author and finisher of your salvation. Our expectation is from Him as to whether He is pleased with our life, by knowing and doing His will. A godly person is devoted to God.
5. Brotherly kindness—This is a life that is full of love and good deeds to your husband, children, and the brethren. These acts of love come from affectionate devotion to them. These dear ones are those whom you want to be with and bless.
6. Love—This is the sacrificing of your own life for the good of others. Day-in and day-out you will deny yourself to help others. Even if they do not appreciate what you have done, you still love. You can even love your enemies with Christ’s love.
There is much more. This is the short encouragement I want to give to you. Your kindness and love to your family will be the supporting pillars of your home. They will be blessed and you will be blessed.
Love,
Patricia Phillips